Our Precious Children

Wrong Perception
My sister always said my mother, my father, my brothers all do not love her. She said everybody don't like her. She said my parents and my brother loves me more. Well, I do not agree with that. She is a mother herself. She should know better. I have two children myself. Two children, two different characters and personality and intelligence. For that, how to treat all the children the same way when they are all different? When we spend more time on one child, does it mean that we do not love the other child?

Conception to Delivery , Long Process, Hard To Come By
I always envied those people who are pregnant and yet they are able to walk around 'freely'. They have no morning sickness and they seem to have no pain at all. When I was pregnant, I had to lie in bed, I felt nauseous all the time, even up to the seventh month! I had to quit my jobs for each time I was pregnant. It was a nightmare to be pregnant. Thinking back, I am really scared to be pregnant!

Torture, Nightmare
So my children were with me for nine months, just like any other mothers with their babies. If some mothers do not have morning sickness, at least they have inconveniences like carrying a big tummy around. These are not easy. Many sacrifices the pregnant women have to bare too.

NOTHING IS EASY
The day finally arrived when the water bag burst and you have to go hospital. In shows, you often see water bag burst and people have to give birth in lifts and cars and so on. But in reality, there are so much time left for you to get ready. Of course there are always exceptional cases. So for both my kids, they was born in the hospital. I walked into the hospital myself, with my dearest hubby. He did all the registration for me at the hospital and next, I was pushed into the delivery suite. Things were not like the TV. TV are all bullshits. If you see what is reality in TV, you would not want to watch TV!

No Pain No Gain
Delivery is pain and scary. After delivery, it is another kind of pain and torture. It is no fun at all to be pregnant and to give birth. It is no fun at all to go hospital. But I had sacrificed. I exchanged my time, my career, my body, my spirit, to have a LIFE. I bring ANOTHER LIFE to this world. It is such a strange thing. Once they are out from your body, they can never go back.

Every Production Is Valuable
Have you had any painting before? Do you not take time to produce a good painting? Do you spend a lot of time with your energy and brain juice, to create your masterpiece? Do you produce only one piece of art in your life? Definitely you would have more. Tell me, which one of the art do you like best? Would you say you do not like any one of your own productions and you just dump them away?

Your Arts no matter how real will never come to LIVE
Our arts can be dump one side and be forgotten if they are finally something which you think they are not your 'masterpieces'. That depends on how you had put in your efforts and your time. Only you yourself know best. But if you have put in all your might and all your best, surely, that is your best. Would you not treasure it? What if this is LIFE? Wouldn't that be even more treasurable or precious? There is no need to think the babies are from which mother. Just think of this logic and you think for yourself, are there mothers in this world who would not love their children? Would a mother not love their children even if the child is of lower intelligence than the normal people? Which mother would not want their children to be smart? But if there are no choice, God had given them these gifts of LIFE, can they changed their genes?

Meaning Of Mother??
I do not know all the mothers in this world. But I have met mothers, I have my own mother and related mother (mother-in-law), and I am a mother myself. My children are like poles apart at certain things, but certain things they are so alike. Each of them have their own strengths and weaknesses. More strength or more weaknesses? That depends on how you look at things. Regardless of their intelligence, they always call you 'mummy' or 'mother'. Can you not love your own production, when they still call you 'mummy' even if your kid is of mental handicap or the ugliest in the world?

You Don't Teach only in the classroom
Parenting are never easy. When you feel that you have done something GOOD for the children, do you really think it is good for the children (or is it something which you could feel better for yourself). Children also have their own dreams and own desire. By 'forcing' them to do things which they do not want, is it caring for them? There are so many things to ask about Parenting. Regardless of what the parents teach, the results that the parents get is always different. This is just like teaching in the classroom.

My parents, my brothers and sister are my teachers too
My mother has 4 children. But each of the 4 children all have different results today. My sister always say my mother, my father and my brother love me most. Nobody like her. I asked her, which of her two children she likes most? Is it not the same? All her children are always her children and will she hate any child? Will she not protect any of her child? Even now, her children are teenagers now. But in her eyes, they are always her child, her kids, forever need the care and concern of the mother! Which mother will not care about the child even if the mother scold or cane him/her?

We all learn from one another, not trying to HURT one another
I had written about my children's school. The school is not happy that I wrote about them. But that is my real concern and I am SURE all parents would want their CHILDREN to be safe in schools and ALL our children are PRECIOUS to us. Don't you think so? If all children are not precious, who are living on this earth tomorrow? If your children are not precious, why people would want to buy them? I would not sell my children, and I hope that the school will teach my children well and protect my children too.

Parent Expectation of The School

I do not care if your customer service is good or bad. I do not care if your general office people never do their work properly. All I am concern is my children in the school. I am not asking for trouble, making things difficult for any teachers either. I have no time to do that either. But my concern is all to know about my children's PROGRESS and ATTITUDE in school. On top of that, I just want my children to be safe. Safe from mishap and misfortunes.

The title of my post is PARENT expectation and not Parents. This is my expectation, but I had tuition with Valerie. Her mother was as concerned as me for her daughter's progress and attitude during tuition. As her tuition teacher, I was frustrated when I had so many things to teach and her foundation was weak. I only had one to two months to teach her. I had so many things to do, but I had to 'devote' myself to her. But I had to face it, I put myself in the mother's shoes and I put myself in Valerie's shoes and I tried to do my best. I never say I am great, I never say I am smart. But to do something well, you have to have the right attitude and be willing to learn and admit your mistakes.

Which teacher was the main target? Not all the teachers are bad. If all teachers are bad, then who am I? You think I am an angel? There are always the first time and the brand new days where the young ones learn. How do you accept feedback or criticism? Do you admit your fault, the teacher concerned? She was obviously not someone experienced, but for teaching Primary two, I am fine with that, but please these are my concern:

WHAT THE SCHOOL SHOULD EMPHASIZE
1. Teachers on duty Marking children's book
Teachers suppose to be on duty during recess time to look after children. They are stationed at different places of the school. Some teachers did not 'watch out' for the children. They spent this time marking books.

2. Teachers who do not care about Children's Feedback
My children told the teacher when they did not receive some worksheets as they were absent from school. These include the chinese magazine subscriptions. Instead of listening to them, my child was rebuked for not bringing them to school. I wrote in the handbook, NO USE. TALKED to teacher, NO USE. WRITE ON BLOGS, now say why never tell the PRINCIPAL.
WHEN the SINGH was the principal, I had a minor complaint. I want to talk to her. There were screening and I never managed to get through. As with any other government bodies, you never get to speak to IMPORTANT PEOPLE. So I write on my own blogs, MY OWN collection. If you see it, you read, you know. If you want to IMPROVE, I am very glad. If you treat it as an ATTACK at you, what is a school? WE all want the children to do well, but I am voicing out my concern. No parents would want their children to be in this state above!

When children told you something, like the boys doing something to the girls, did you take note of that? (This is just example) I do not want future incidence to happen to my children in school where the boys 'molest' her. Of course, the teachers have no control of that, but such things if you know, please inform parents, then parents would know why the children are so sad, or not themselves when they reach home.

3. Make sure the student handbook or whatever book you want it to be called -- the book for parents and teachers to communicate-- FILLED up EVERYDAY, when there are homework or any concern the teachers need to inform the parents and vice versa. This could be a consistent habit RIGHT From the start of school term. Everyday before school is dismissed, teacher gives the children TIME to write everything down. When pupil forget anything or need particular attention from parents to help, teachers please write down. Next, teacher walks round the pupils, go round checking all the book. This could take about 5-15 minutes, you just need to put aside SOME TIME.

By spending 15 minutes of your time, you can have more peace, the parents will not "HAUNT" you.

4. CONTACTS, EMAILS
AT the start of the school term, give parents your contact number. It does not have to be phone number. All we want is COMMUNICATION. Any communication that can answer our doubts. EMails are fine, and any emails, as long as YOU REPLY.

5. HONESTY
Please do not tell children that when you leave teaching is because the class is NAUGHTY. The children NAUGHTY you do not want to teach them anymore. We know that there are so many trainee teachers now. Some come and some go to NIE for training and attachment and whatever. Please do not tell children THINGS WHICH YOU DO NOT KNOW either. Giving FALSE INFORMATION. You are misleading the children. But that is not as bad as telling nonsense like you are leaving because the class is NAUGHTY.

Sometimes teachers make mistakes. Teachers are not God and they know EVERYTHING. But What is a teacher if you are not honest to yourself? What are you imparting to your students?
Teaching is not so easy as only telling students what to do and telling them how to do English, Maths and Science! You need to do more than you deserve the paycheck!

6. Impartial
If YOU are scared that your name will be published, and you are scared to teach my children, then you are NOT FIT to be a teacher. What is a teacher? DO YOU really know what is a teacher? If you are teaching the Lee whatever Long children or whatever tong son or whatever LEVIS, are you going to be stressed everyday and quit teaching just because of that? Or are you going to teach the class, but pay extra emphasize on that particular 'precious kid', everyday having fear that his parents will come after you? If you are going to do that, then you are going to have a hard time teaching and you will not be able to teach the class well. You can be a honour students, but that does not mean that you can teach well. You can only have a A-level certificate, but your teaching is much more superb than the honour students! Regardless of your educational level, teaching is a skill like any other profession need. The hairdresser has cutting skills, the surgeon have cutting skills, the way to hold a scalpel and similarly teaching. But if you are willing to learn and you are committed, who will not give you a chance?

This is absolutely absurd to say that TEACHERS MORALE are at risk because of what I said. If the teachers are good teachers, they will always strive to be better. They welcome feedback and suggestions. If the teachers are working NOT JUST FOR MONEY, but because they love teaching and they CARE for the children, they would not be bordered by who the parents are. Do your job well and do you have to fear who is behind you? Do you teach well only when the invigilators or examiners are around? Can you be clear of your own conscience when you are playing injustice and any sense of biases to any of the children in your class? Ask yourself, do you treat the children with uneducated parents similarly to children with Fussy Parent like me? If you treat the children differently, something is wrong with your attitude. Regardless of how the parents treated me, I treat the children as CHILDREN. I do not show favouritism to a kid just because he is the Principal's son or daughter. I do not pay lesser attention to the kid with uneducated parents either. At the end of the day, do you think you will be happy teaching if you must teach with so many types of concern from your heart? Every students go to school to learn. All children are STILL CHILDREN. Regardless of what their parents do, they are innocent. If you really Care for the children and you want to teach the children, you would know that.

Teachers MUST KNOW FIRST AID

ANY Parents want this to happen to your kids?
This was the photograph of the primary two girl who had her eyes injured in school. This incident happened during November this year, when the students were in the hall, and the teachers were busy preparing for Annual Speech Prize Giving Day or whatever preparation of Report Books for the students. I had captured this photograph from The New Paper. The exact date I am not sure, but I remembered the day was one of the Saturday and the children went for Catechism at St Anthony Church. So the date must be either 3 November 2007 or 10th November 2007.

NO HYPERLINK, I respect You
For writing a complaints about Teacher on my blog, my intentions was not to hurt any teacher. My intentions is to create awareness, and hope that IMPROVEMENTs can be made in this area. I DO NOT want to see such things happen to my CHILDREN. NO parents would want this to happen to their children. It is not a matter of apologies and giving MONEY after that which will appease us nor solve the pain after that. This poor girl was told by the doctor that she could possible be blind after that.

Just TO Be Caution
When the incident happen, the teacher called the parents or guardian, whatever. The school told them that the girl was fine. But when the grandparent went to fetch the girl in the school later in the afternoon, the girl was in pain. The grandma sent her to polyclinic(if I am not wrong). At the polyclinic, the doctor told the grandma "Are you mad, you sent her only now?" She should be sent earlier!! But who knew it? The school said the girl was fine. The teacher THOUGHT she WAS fine.

Better Safe To Be Sorry Later On
So what if the teachers showed concerned after that? So what if the Principal or Vice principal went to the hospital and stay there for as long as they want? NO AMOUNT of money and apologies will ever AMEND such a MISTAKES, negligence on the teachers part. We do not say that the teachers should be responsible. But were the teachers BUSY chatting, writing report books or doing other tasks? Fine, no body will admit these. Then after accident happen, did you check thoroughly? If the teacher had done so, the parents would have gone to the school sooner and the girl's eye might not have more serious infection.

NO POINT BLAMING After that
What we want is our children to be cared for and not only to go there for education. The school teaches English, Maths, Science, Chinese/Malay/Tamil(Mother Tongue), Health Education, Social Studies, Music and Arts. Does it mean that you do not care about the welfare of students but only academic performance? When you can teach Health Education, can you not know basic First Aid and some Health Knowledge like handling emergency cases? Does the school has any standard operating procedure for that? My child was hit on the nose bridge, in between the eyes and nose, and I WAS NOT INFORMED!!!!! She had fever and sore eyes after that. Was that coincidence?? The Vice Principle said that was a SEASON of Sore EYEs. Fine. So now the SEASON is over, the sore eyes SEASON was never last year as from birth until now, but so COINCIDENTALLY that period.

Which Profession IS EASY?
When accidents happen, we DO NOT want to BLAME people. It is no use. It is a waste of time and unproductive too. But DO WE need to wait UNTIL something happen like this case above then the school start to THINK of something to solve FUTURE similar or WORST case? Already we have students committing SUICIDE after teachers 'talked' to the students about certain matters. How the students die, the parents would not know the details! Can Parents trust the school? What is the purpose of sending our children to school?



Put Yourself In Other People's Shoes
I am not talking about OVER PROTECTION of my kids. Today my children cooked Maggie Noodles. I on the gas cooker and they did all the cooking. I have no time to teach my children so many things, though I WANT TO. I WANT TO spend more time with my children, but I have to earn money too. I cannot afford to suffer similar fate like this case above. I will regret my whole life! No Parents mentioned about this does not mean that ALL parents are satisfied with the school system.

Do you need to have FOOD POISONING to stop production of Cakes?
AS Parent, I want my children to study in school but to be safe too. Shouldn't all the teachers learn FIRST AID and how to handle emergency like resuscitation and nose bleeding, choking, asthmatic attack and things like that. Primary students and secondary students are not big adults like University students or Polytechnic students. They need the guidance and care from Teachers and Parents still.

EDUCATE The Teachers
Teachers were sent to improve their teaching skills, but how about this aspect? All you care for is academic results. It is not easy to be teachers. If you think teaching is very easy money, be prepared to handle fussy parents like me, if you think I AM FUSSY. But I tell you, we all want the children to be better(just like you said so nicely in newsletter, in open house, teacher and parents collaboration, but DID THEY?). If you really care about the children, you would cooperate with me, teachers. IF your concern is only to earn the monthly easy paycheck, then the children are at risk. The future of the children lies in your hands. It is not a matter of going to school everyday, staying in the class and teaching the class, you are being responsible. There are more to teaching than merely standing there.

Is MONEY the PROBLEM or CHILDREN YOUR CONCERN?
PRICE HIKE, Teachers Pay increase. WHO ARE PAYING YOU? WE pay school fees and we want our children to be SAFE in your hands, in your school compounds. ARE WE asking too much? Accidents like that above could have been avoided if there are teachers around. If teachers are teaching or with the students, can that happen?

Teachers are not GOD, Teachers are not EVERYHING 'Bao kao liao' (everything know)
As a teacher, sometimes we need to leave the class alone to get something done, that is understandable -- but not too long, and PLEASE when accidents happen, NOTIFY parents. DO THE NECESSARY FIRST AID you deem right. When you are on duty, do not mark books. Treat the children as though they are your children. DO NOT discriminate children just because their PARENTS are bloggers. Who will dare to teach my kids? I will tell you another post on that.

12 Rules of Parenting

Adults often tell children,"Grow up." Perhaps one of the wisest things adults can do is to 'grow down' -- to do or say something from time to time, as children frequently do, that makes little or no sense. ~ Allen Klein


Twelve Rules That Don't Changes

1. Don't disapprove of what a child is -- disapprove of the actions.

2. Give attention and praise for good behaviour, not for bad behaviour.

3. Parents should allow and encourage discussion, but the parent makes the final decision.

4. Punishment should be reasonable and related to the offense.

5. Throw out all rules that you are unwilling to enforce, and be willing to change rules if you think it reasonable to do so.

6. Don't lecture and don't warn. Youngsters can remember things they think are important to remember.

7. Don't feel you have to justify rules, although you should be willing to explain them.

8. As your youngsters get old, many rules may be flexible and subject to discussion and compromise. However, on those few rules you really feel strongly about, enforce them even if other parents have a different rule.

9. Allow the child or youth to assume responsibility for decisions as he or she shows the ability to do so.

10. Don't expect children to show more self-control than you do as a parent.

11. Be honest with your youngster -- hypocrisy shows.

12. The most important thing in your youngster's self-image is what he or she thinks you think. Self-image is a major factor in how the youngster thinks and what he or she does.



Encourage your child to use his or her creativity. Often, the simplest idea can blossom into an hour's entertainment. All that is needed is a supportive adult (with a sense of humour), a suggestion or two, and a child's imagination. ~ Leslie Hamilton

Tuition For Kids

Today Valerie came to my house for tuition. Just October she had finished her Secondary One examinations and now I am teaching her Secondary Two's Maths. Time really flies.

I started giving tuition when I had completed my GCE 'O' level. While waiting for results, I started home tuition. Being green and new in the working society, I signed up as tutor in various tuition agencies during those days. The tuition agencies will match your requirements with available students. If they had any opportunities, they would call me. I had some assignments and soon I was visiting homes, giving private home tuition to kids. It was not worthwhile to register with tuition agencies. At the end of the month, I need to pay the tuition agencies 50% of my earnings, the tuition fees.

Soon, I start my own home tuition services. I printed flyers and I went to various blocks around my neighbourhood to give out flyers. My niece and nephew were very small. They gave me a helping hand too. During those days, I received many phone calls. Soon, my schedule was very tight. I had groups of tuition, both at home and visiting homes.

I stopped tuition when I was in the college. After GCE 'A' Level was finished, I had relief teaching in the schools. I had private tuition again. During universities day, I had relief teaching also whenever there are opportunities. Throughout my universities' day, I had group tuition for kids at home. They were mostly Primary Kids. But I have a few Secondary Kids too.


This is a photo taken from my tuition file.

There are so many tuition agencies now. There are many online tutoring too. Looking for a tutor is just so easy now. Students do not have to travel far as well. There are tuition centres at the void deck of many HDB flats and shopping centres. Nowadays with technology being so advanced, there are online tutor whereby student and tutor can have tuition session at their own home. This is very similar to video conferencing.

Need homework help for your kids? TutorVista is the leading online tutoring company in the world. They offer an incredible unlimited monthly tutoring package for only $99.99 a month for all subjects - English, Math, Science, History, Geography and so on. Tutoring is available 24X7 and students can use their service as much as they want and whenever they need it!

Love Your Child

To encourage children to be truthful, you need to be truthful. To encourage children to listen to you, spend time listening to their views and concerns instead of telling them all your views all the time. Every child is born with some inherent traits. These can affect the way he reacts to people, events and stress. For most children, stress from the environment comes primarily from home and school. A child will experience less stress if his relationship with significant people is warm, loving, accepting and affirming. We often think that we can show love to our children by buying them things or simply spending time and teaching them. However, are we meeting their needs? Sometimes we do not know what their needs are.



Some examples of children's needs are:

• To be independent, to do things for themselves.
• To be heard where their views and feelings are concerned.
• To have the right to privacy and personal space.
• To be able to choose and be with their friends.

There is nothing more satisfying to a child than feel his parents' approval for and their pride in his abilities. Talk with your child. Teach your child problem-solving skills. Respect your children, show them that they are important people. For example, listen to your child and talk to him about his feelings. By paying attention to and talking about his feelings, you are sending your child the message that you really want to understand him. Love Your Child.